ihateturtles

Do we ever!

THE OFFICIAL RULES OF THE SLUSH PILE DRINKING GAME: Created and recreated by every small gathering of editorial assistants around the world since the dawn of time

1. When the author compares their book to an international bestseller, DRINK.
2. When the author makes 5 or more typos, DRINK.
3. When the author sends you their entire 200,000 word manuscript, BURN IT, then DRINK.
4. When the author makes a hyperbolic statement about the quality of their work, such as “You’ve never read anything like it,” or “You won’t be able to put it down,” DRINK.
5. When the author wrote their query letter on a typewriter, DRINK.
6. When the author hand-wrote their query letter, DRINK.
7. When the author tells you how many times they’ve been rejected, choose one person in the group to take a corresponding number of shots. DRIVE THEM HOME.
8. When the author misspells the editor’s name, the name of the publishing house, or gets either of these dead wrong, DRINK.
9. When the author attempts to tug at your heartstrings by emphasizing their downtrodden existence or flat out begging you to publish them, POP THE CHAMPAGNE AND COMMENCE EVIL LAUGHTER.
10. When the author makes unrealistic promises about their book’s sales potential, DRINK.

Rules vary depending on the players and the publishing house. In general, it’s good to keep the criteria to ten points, lest the entire editorial staff ends up sleeping in a puddle of crumpled pages and their own vomit.

~QQ